I looked in the mirror, and Didn’t see me.
Its almost midnight, I have been staring at this silver plated watch for the longest time,tapping on my right foot, my palms are profusely sweating, It's like the world is coming to an end in litteraly five minutes. I thought tonight I was gonna get some sleep, it's been a roller coaster month, I can barely make sense of myself .These events that have been coming one after the other in the last couple of weeks, have taken their toll on me I swear, I might just be jinxed.Just two weeks ago, Mellisa was dismissed at work for a fraudulent activity her and a colleague were orchastrating. So she has been crushing over my place to let the media buzz die down.The company she works for has laid charges against them, She is awaiting trial and it doesn't look good for her. She orchastrated the whole plan, David will have a lighter sentence. I was introduced to Mellisa five years ago by my now ex lover at a fundraising function hosted in Capetown to raise funds for a skills transfer program in Africa. We immediately clicked from then, and it's been five amazing years of rock solid friendship, with its highs and lows.Langa knew my keen interest in such programs, and Mellisa happened to be the program director that day. On the other hand I'm drowining myself in dept, my car was repossessed by the bank, I can't even afford to uber to work, . At home my dad spent his whole retirement on a deal that turned out to be a scam. My entire family is looking up to their daughter with a masters degree in economics, who seems to have her life figured out in Johannesburg, the city of gold. I broke if off with Langa after I found that he had cheated on me with his college sweetheart, and got her pregnant, he had told me not to worry since she had been married and long moved on, turn out she was never married and they had actually moved in together. I had two miscarriages with Langa and he knew how much it broke me, and at some point after living together for about two years I saw it best to move into my apartment just to find me again and allow me some space to heal at my own pace. Either than the failed pregnancies ,so much had happend in our relationship that built up to me moving out. It was a tight circle of us corporates, me and Ashley went to the same gym,so it got very awkward between us, but she soon stopped going to gym around her third trimester.God knows, the sight of her, worse when they came to gym together, my heart just wanted to burst in anger, I was so disappointment, it was all too much. None the less, I had bigger problems on my plate, I was still trying to figure out how I'm going to handle the pressure from home, after my fathers scandal ,the ten grand I sent home wasn't enough to sustain them until my dad figures a way out, they needed more. I still hadn't told them about the repossessed car, and that I'm helping out a friend who got herself in some deep shit. My problems wouldn't have mattered anyway, I live in joburg, I got a good job, I can handle it. I had to make a plan. Apart from the pressure,I had already adopted an expensive lifestyle, so the thought of rock bottom was a nightmare.
I worked for the National defense department as an economist, I had done well in getting myself in that position out of pure hard work and focus. I'd consider myself a middle-upper class corporate lady, in her late twenties , no kids, drives a Porsche and owns an apartment in the north. I was content and happy until life just happened. I got acquainted with different people from different spaces, some who introduced me to finer things in life, some I got really close with and some I’d just leave it at hello, hi. I adopted bad habits, I gambled, I had a fine sugar daddy from Austria who spoiled me rotten. He’d only come to South Africa for business, or I would fly to him instead. It’s one of the reasons I had two written warnings for incompetence at work in just a space of six months. So I’d safely say my future in that company was at stake too.
I don't see a point in discussing the matter in depth with Mellisa,as to how she got herself in this mess, one thing I know is she needs help, and she came to me because she knew I could help.Her plan was to escape the country, and she wanted me to connect him with Austin in Austria, it was gonna be simple really, but unfortunately I hadn’t communicated with him for about two months, since he was going through a divorce and wanted us to hold of a bit, till he sorts out his issues, so I wouldn’t have know how to approach him with such news,Plan B, was that she was going to go to
Tanzania, she had a distant relative that stayed there, so What I needed to do was use my connections to get her a new travel document, Of which I agreed, without even giving it much thought.It didn’t take me long enough to get onether car, not through the bank of course, but I already knew a couple of guys in Thembisa, who hijacked cars, so I got a good deal for a G class, so there’s me using up almost all my savings in a car that could potentially get me in trouble, but did I care, I needed a car ASAP, my life had to look normal and admirable. Mellisa managed to skip the country and a couple of weeks later, some detectives were knocking at my door looking for Mellissa, I confidently lied in their faces, and bluntly told them that I wasn’t Mellisa’s babysitter.
Austin eventually contacted me and requested I fly to Poland, where we’d meet for a catch up session, the next morning I was already headed to OR to meet my daddy, I needed the vacay anyway, had to escape from all this for a while, I was already demotivated to go to work anyway so, Loosing my job wasn’t a big deal, plus I needed new Gucci bags, and my friends were kinda getting used to my designer collection. So I packed my bags and left. I had a good time with Austin traveling the world, until he became his old self again, controlling and manipulative,he knew I was jobless and that going back to South Africa would potentially put me in jail.After the war in Tanzania Mellisa was forced to go back home and face her demons. I on the one side had the same thought, I felt empty, hopeless and lost. This man was controlling and abusive, It made sense why he got a divorce. All these flashy possessions were not worth the torment I was feeling inside.It was harder to support my family back home, it was Austin’s money anyway. I wasn’t in control like I used to be. I couldn’t just wake up and decide to go shopping. My life was planned for me basically, my every move, what I bought, who I was friends with, he knew. Actually he didn’t even want me to have friends.
Mellisa got a ten year sentence, so I knew I wasn’t gonna see her for a while, I knew I would be in the same boat with her sooner or later.Two months in two country hopping with Austin, the hotel food, sitting by the beach looking like a rich house wife in Gucci shades, I called it quits and went back home to start over.
Yes it was all a mess.I didn’t have an apartment, the bank was gonna take my house in a month, I had
no job, and that hijacked car was traced and apparently those guys had gone to jail. My dad was forced to sell the house and my family downsized since I wasn’t supportive I’m looking at the time
and awaiting my fate, the police will come knocking anytime by now.I stood up from my red couch, which I loved so dearly, it was my haven, I went to the bathroom to wash the sweat off my hands from fear,and washed my face, I was already in tears. I looked into the mirror, and didn’t see me.I didn’t see the girl who came to joburg ten years ago, full of dreams, and wanting to create a better life for herself. I didn’t see the girl, who worked long hours, for promotions and recognitions. I didn’t see the girl who was smart and graduated cumladar, I saw a criminal who was going to jail for tampering with evidence.
I worked for the National defense department as an economist, I had done well in getting myself in that position out of pure hard work and focus. I'd consider myself a middle-upper class corporate lady, in her late twenties , no kids, drives a Porsche and owns an apartment in the north. I was content and happy until life just happened. I got acquainted with different people from different spaces, some who introduced me to finer things in life, some I got really close with and some I’d just leave it at hello, hi. I adopted bad habits, I gambled, I had a fine sugar daddy from Austria who spoiled me rotten. He’d only come to South Africa for business, or I would fly to him instead. It’s one of the reasons I had two written warnings for incompetence at work in just a space of six months. So I’d safely say my future in that company was at stake too.
I don't see a point in discussing the matter in depth with Mellisa,as to how she got herself in this mess, one thing I know is she needs help, and she came to me because she knew I could help.Her plan was to escape the country, and she wanted me to connect him with Austin in Austria, it was gonna be simple really, but unfortunately I hadn’t communicated with him for about two months, since he was going through a divorce and wanted us to hold of a bit, till he sorts out his issues, so I wouldn’t have know how to approach him with such news,Plan B, was that she was going to go to
Tanzania, she had a distant relative that stayed there, so What I needed to do was use my connections to get her a new travel document, Of which I agreed, without even giving it much thought.It didn’t take me long enough to get onether car, not through the bank of course, but I already knew a couple of guys in Thembisa, who hijacked cars, so I got a good deal for a G class, so there’s me using up almost all my savings in a car that could potentially get me in trouble, but did I care, I needed a car ASAP, my life had to look normal and admirable. Mellisa managed to skip the country and a couple of weeks later, some detectives were knocking at my door looking for Mellissa, I confidently lied in their faces, and bluntly told them that I wasn’t Mellisa’s babysitter.
Austin eventually contacted me and requested I fly to Poland, where we’d meet for a catch up session, the next morning I was already headed to OR to meet my daddy, I needed the vacay anyway, had to escape from all this for a while, I was already demotivated to go to work anyway so, Loosing my job wasn’t a big deal, plus I needed new Gucci bags, and my friends were kinda getting used to my designer collection. So I packed my bags and left. I had a good time with Austin traveling the world, until he became his old self again, controlling and manipulative,he knew I was jobless and that going back to South Africa would potentially put me in jail.After the war in Tanzania Mellisa was forced to go back home and face her demons. I on the one side had the same thought, I felt empty, hopeless and lost. This man was controlling and abusive, It made sense why he got a divorce. All these flashy possessions were not worth the torment I was feeling inside.It was harder to support my family back home, it was Austin’s money anyway. I wasn’t in control like I used to be. I couldn’t just wake up and decide to go shopping. My life was planned for me basically, my every move, what I bought, who I was friends with, he knew. Actually he didn’t even want me to have friends.
Mellisa got a ten year sentence, so I knew I wasn’t gonna see her for a while, I knew I would be in the same boat with her sooner or later.Two months in two country hopping with Austin, the hotel food, sitting by the beach looking like a rich house wife in Gucci shades, I called it quits and went back home to start over.
Yes it was all a mess.I didn’t have an apartment, the bank was gonna take my house in a month, I had
no job, and that hijacked car was traced and apparently those guys had gone to jail. My dad was forced to sell the house and my family downsized since I wasn’t supportive I’m looking at the time
and awaiting my fate, the police will come knocking anytime by now.I stood up from my red couch, which I loved so dearly, it was my haven, I went to the bathroom to wash the sweat off my hands from fear,and washed my face, I was already in tears. I looked into the mirror, and didn’t see me.I didn’t see the girl who came to joburg ten years ago, full of dreams, and wanting to create a better life for herself. I didn’t see the girl, who worked long hours, for promotions and recognitions. I didn’t see the girl who was smart and graduated cumladar, I saw a criminal who was going to jail for tampering with evidence.
Comments
Post a Comment