One Word.

One thing I failed to realise was that it wasn't ok not to be ok, and I was not ok with it. I was not ok with being middle aged with two kids and baby daddy just decided to grow wings and fly right after our second child. Hell, I was never ok with one of them being a special child, it pained me to see my child suffering like that. I was not ok with the doctors visits and bills pilling up. I was not ok with being single and looking like a tornado just rolled past me.It was not ok to take the bus every day at six in the morning, to an awful and dreading job. Nothing was ok and there I was trying to make one decision that would change my life, well at least I had hope it would.

A few weeks ago, I had bumped into an old friend I hadn't seen in a long time. She was one of the neighborhood girls who used to be serious about everything literary. The ”anti sex before marriage people” The alcohol will take you right straight to the devil’s bed kinda people. Turned out she owned the most roudiest bar in town were all kinds of evil acts played out. Well turns out a couple of years later,she looks like the devils wife himself.Tatoos, piercings all over her body, like what the hell happened?. So i’d safely say we were equally trashed out. Well me on one end, I grew up with both parents, not strict but neither played it easy on me. Got pregnant with my first child after prom ,then went on to marry what was the ”love of my life”. Long story short, shit happened and there I was , at Reg Star having a drink with an old friend. 

One thing life had taught me, was that things were never gonna  turn out the way you wanted from the very beginning, and neither should I had to sit and wait for a miracle to happen, but I had to do what I had to do, and leave the rest to fate. Natalie and I decided to embark on a journey, leave everything behind, everyone. You are probably wondering about my kids, relax my parents had it covered. They were better off without me anyway, because they were gonna be taken away to a system sooner or later. I knew I wasn't sick mentally, so a rehab was never an option. Something in me just knew What I needed. Change, change of environment, I needed to find myself far away from home.

Apparently Natalie lost her parents in 8th grade, from that transition, she found herself moving from uncles, to aunts, at some point got into the system, got in trouble with the law, and she was later saved by her grandmother Ally. She put her back in school, cleaned her up and somehow that worked out. Even though it wasn't a complete transformation, she couldn't get all those tattoos off her body, but at least she got clean and started a business, with some of the money her grandmother had saved before she passed too. Oh yeah, she too later passed on, from natural causes, and that was it for Nattalie. She was alone. Let's not even mention the uncles and aunts, they were equally addicts, in and out of prison, so she was better of without them. The only thing that kept her moving was now her crazy bar called Reg Star, I don't know how the hell she came up with that, but it worked, it was a popular bar.